“This is the first and biggest party of the year!” host Queen Latifah announced a few minutes into last night’s telecast of the 2011 People’s Choice Awards. She was wrong for two reasons: 1) My first party of the year involved stupid hats and Silly String, which I did not see present in the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles and 2) If a party involves plugs for crappy-looking movies, unfunny rehearsed sketches, and having to sit through “ummmm”‘s and “yeaaaahhh”‘s by Kristen Stewart, it automatically invalidates the term party.
Luckily, the first major entertainment awards show of the year is only one in a string of many to come. But the lack of anyone or anything interesting that appeared, not to mention most of the choices of winners themselves, made for the most painfully boring two hours of television thus far in 2011.
- Comeback king Conan O’Brien and the always-delightful Neil Patrick Harris and Jane Lynch (Plus her show Glee) taking some trophies, as well as Harris’ babbling in tribute to his infant children.
- The segment featuring Latifah, Kate Walsh and Taye Diggs of Private Practice, Dr. Drew, David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel of Bones, and Kathy Griffin–though sadly, that delivered average entertainment at most.
- It all went downhill from when Latifah introduced the show by singing over Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite,” complete with back-up dancers. Guess it wasn’t necessary to just play the song as is. It suddenly felt like karaoke hour and only one person wanted to perform–the host, of course.
- Adam Sandler using Jennifer Aniston not-so-subtly to promote their upcoming film Just Go With It, and first looks at The Dilemma and Seasons of the Witch. Maybe this point could be upgraded to “The Good” if Sandler was a better-polished promoter and the two latter movies looked at all interesting. But maybe I just have a lot of dislike for the actors who will be starring in those films.
- The musical guests: Kid Rock was underwhelming, and Selena Gomez’s little voice was drowned out by her band. Kid Rock wasn’t even nominated for an award and therefore, didn’t feel relevant to the evening’s festivities. Those two were the best that the production staff could come up with?
- Twilight Saga couple and real-life lovebirds Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson actually win stuff and stumble on their acceptance speeches–and did Stewart end her Favorite Movie Actress acceptance by mumbling “I’m just trying to get out of here”? She’s too charming.
Needless to say, I disagree with much of the majority’s votes, but it is only through the voice of the people, thanks to the power of easily accessible online voting, where the likes of Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and Twilight films could be considered better than Lady Gaga, Lady Antebellum and Carrie Underwood, and Inception. So don’t be too disappointed if you don’t like these results either–many of these winners won’t even see the light of the Critics’ Choice, Grammies (Speak Now isn’t eligible this year–good news for those who are worried about Swift taking more of those, though it will count for next year), Golden Globes, and Oscars, so let them take the People’s Choice. This good old-fashioned popularity contest could have been predicted from the start. Just be thankful that the rest of awards season won’t be determined by your peers and youngsters spending hours voting on their computers.
For a full list of winners, visit the People’s Choice Awards online.